Timmy Interviews Cody! Part One of a Three-part Interview!

Getting to know My Koti 

This is part one of a series of three interviews about Cody in conjunction with Love Bytes Reviews!

I have met some really cool people on Facebook and I love to soak up all the information I can about them. I like to feel I really know them. I know Cody very well, and respect him a lot. As I read interviews of him, I find that people ask him a lot of the same questions and those are mostly about his work as an author, and the work he does helping abused kids.

I wish people knew My Koti; the one who has helped me through so much of the difficult time in my life. There is so much people don’t know about him. So, on that note, I asked if I could interview him and he said yes! I had so many questions that I decided to make it a three-part interview! And he still said yes! Yay! I’m super excited!

This first interview is all about My Koti where I asked never before asked questions about him. Enjoy!

I have heard that writers do different things when starting a new book. Are there any rituals you go through when starting to write a new book?

Because I’m an organization freak, the first thing I do is ensure that all of my filing is complete. This may sound simple, but for me it isn’t. I detest filing with a passion. I create piles and am happy with my piling system...until I can’t find something. Then a bunch of keening and wailing occurs. I digress. 

Because I view starting a new project as an exciting privilege and I practice “get the worst over as quickly as you can,” I force myself to FILE. This involves a lot of self-talk. If you hadn’t let it go for so long, you’d have this done in ten minutes. But, no. You had to let it go for a month. It’s your own fault. Speed it up. 

Once the filing drama is over, I set up a binder and divide it into four categories: inspiration, notes, research, and draft MS. This is very time consuming. I use only white binders and choose a different font and color scheme for each project. I have wasted entire days setting up one binder. After I have wasted sufficient time customizing a binder, I organize the inspirational images I’ve collected on my computer by character, location, etc. I place one or two of those images beneath the plastic and it is the front cover of the binder. Finally, I select a song that fits the overall story, set it to play, open Word, and GO!

If you are sleeping and suddenly wake up with a new story or character on your mind, what is the first thing you do? 

Tell myself to go back to sleep, the idea will still be there tomorrow. True story.

There are some who say writer’s block is not real. What are your feelings on writer's block? 

Writer’s block is defined as “the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing.” Setting aside for a moment that authorship is a profession and, as such, one does not have the luxury of being unable to write, I don’t have this problem. I was blessed with a wild imagination and, rather, I have the problem of having too many directions to go with a story. I’m oft burdened with figuring out how I can fit all the imagined options into a story. Realistically, this isn’t possible and I must choose what to keep and what to lose. I have a number of incredible talents, but the art of choosing is not one of them. Please see: keening and wailing, above.

I have heard it said that if you do something a million times you become an expert at it. Translated to writing, if you have written over a million words would that make a writer an expert? Are you an expert?

No and no. Writing does take practice and many of us have written well over a million words, but unless we hone our skills as we go and press ourselves to be ever better as we write, we won’t improve. I have been writing for nearly half a century and am nowhere near being as good as I hope to one day be. I’ll add another thought. I will never be an expert at anything. Being an expert infers that there is little or nothing more to learn about a particular subject and I won’t limit myself in that respect. Our worlds are not static. They’re ever-changing and ever-evolving things and there is and always will be more to learn about everything.

As a thirteen-year-old boy, I find that I am way different from other kids my age. Romance is something I like to read and dream about. It gives me hope and it is one reason I work so hard to heal from my past. There is nothing better to me than reading a sweet romance story. If you were planning a date, where would you take him? What would be the perfect romantic date for you? 

Is this the part where I say I don’t date? Gawwww. What a question! A walk on the beach, good conversation, and dinner on the pier as we watch the sunset. Life is hard and I suggest that spending as much time as we can making our lives peaceful and easy, the healthier we’ll be. I like peaceful and easy.

I love reading about different time periods, whether in the future or the past. I always wonder what my life might be if I was born in another time. If you could live an any time period, what would it be and why? 

I would choose to live in the future. I want to be able to fly without the aid of large machinery, to travel instantaneously, and to live in world peace. While things may get worse before they get better, I’m certain we’ll achieve world peace in the future.

I think of the future often. I hope that one day everyone will see me as normal as they see themselves. Until then, we depend on our government to keep LGBTQIAP people safe and to force people to treat us equally. In your opinion, what is the most important law that can be or has been put into place to help the LGBT community?

Certainly, marriage equality has changed not only our country, but also the world. Nonetheless, rights are not yet equal or equitable. The disparity in both instances stems from discrimination and I believe more severe pecuniary measures should be in place not only for discrimination, but for concealing, fostering, and/or being a passive party to it.

I have always wanted a pet but, other then my fish, I have not had one. Tell me about the pets you have had in your life. Are they your friends? Are they your children? Do they make you laugh? Are they there when you are upset? 

I have had every conceivable domesticated animal as a pet, each with his or her own distinctly different personality. I had a fawn Great Dane when I grew up. Psyche was the sweetest dog ever and took up more of my twin bed than I did. Pyewacket, my beautiful chocolate Siamese cat, was very fickle and aloof, but also slept on my bed at night. Her purring is indelibly imprinted in my mind. As an adult, I had a black and tan hound named Dixie for thirteen years. Her disposition was as sweet as Psyche’s was. I miss all of them dearly. Now, I have a horse and three parrots. My horse, Majic, is fun but he is spoiled and can be a jerk. Having three parrots is like having three four-year-olds. They’re a ton of work and time-consuming, but so worth it. And yes, they know instinctively when I’m upset or angry. Two of them will immediately ask “Are you okay?” This goes on repeatedly until the third chimes in with “I love you.” It’s uncanny. #BestFriendsEver

Yes! They are stockings!

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes it’s hard to sit back and look at what your weaknesses are. My strength is caring. I care about people and things, and I believe that makes me a better person. My biggest weakness is self-bullying. If I could learn to be nicer to myself, I could save myself a lot of drama. What is your best strength and your biggest weakness?

I don’t know. I try to look at the positive side of things and think that's my best quality. It seems each trait we carry has two sides to it. I’m fun, caring, and try to be kind. Because I strive to be patient in all things, I often allow others to take advantage of me. #Note2Self #Area4Improvement I wish I was not as gullible as I am and wish I had a quick wit. I’m lousy with wit. I’d say my greatest weakness is my temper if I feel someone is being unjustly treated or, worse yet, mistreated. It’s a whoa gig for me. I force myself to walk away. A friend of mine bought me a stuffed animal as a birthday gift once. It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I still have it. Begs the question: Why do I still have it? :/

People say it doesn’t matter what others think about me. I say that’s a bunch of crap! It’s hard not to care when people look down on me. I know what your advice to me would be, but how do you deal with negative people in your life?

I ignore them. One of the benefits of age is that you care less about what others think of you. In caring less, you are more naturally yourself and the ease with which you function puts others at ease. As a result, less strife occurs around you. That said, when I was your age, I felt very differently. My grandfather kept having my hair cut short when I was young and I finally convinced him to let me grow it...and grow it...and grow it...and have had long hair ever since...because I can hide behind it when I’m feeling unsure of myself. That’s a secret. Please don’t tell anyone.

When I review books, I try to be careful not to hurt authors’ feelings because I know they put a lot of time and effort into their books. I understand that two of your books hit close to home for you. I can’t imagine what it took for you to write about such painful memories. How do you deal with criticism on these stories? How do you deal with what must be heartbreak when they say they are not realistic?

First, I swallow hard and stifle sadness. Second, I shake my head and decry the human race for believing that we are incapable of treating our youth so badly. Third, I smirk. Particularly at those who claim to be “in a profession” related to what I have not only written, but lived. Finally, I smile to myself and think there is nothing wrong with people disagreeing with or not liking what I write. Far be it from me to “tell” anyone anything. It isn’t my place. In the end, I try to be philosophical about it. The aforementioned said, Pollyanna is not my middle name and I welcome constructive debate when it comes to the treatment and care of abused children.

I find that though being gay does not define me, many things about my appearance might indicate that I’m gay. What parts of your appearance are unique to your sexuality?

Being Intersex, it’s difficult to tell whether I’m male or female. From a distance, I appear female, but as one comes closer, they realize I shave, etc. What follows is a lot of staring. We’re deeply conditioned, sociopathically so, to sense gender first and above all things, and it’s tough for people to adjust to. Unfortunately, staring is also one of the few things that irritates me. I want to stare back and say: JUST ASK! 

Thanks, My Koti! This is great! The second interview will be about Intersex people and what is means to be intersex. The third interview will be about how being intersex has affected him and the challenges he has met with. Stay tuned!